I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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