You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Randomize
