Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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