the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
