? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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