one two three fourrrrnication!
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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