Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
