But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
