We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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