She's JV to your varsity
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
she peed on how many people?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
