He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Never joke about your clitoris.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize