We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
