mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Bang-toberfest begins!!
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
