What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
