oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
