and my herpes radar will keep us safe
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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