Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize
