Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Randomize
