she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
