...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
