Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
