you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
