If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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