When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize