think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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