literally had 100 drinks last night.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
