He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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