Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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