I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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