I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
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