I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
