I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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