She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
how does that bad decision feel?
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