And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
How does it feel to date your dad?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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