is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
