I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
