Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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