i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
