This dress was meant to end up on your floor
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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