Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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