hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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