I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
