before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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