Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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