I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
