Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
