just tell him i said nine months
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
