I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Randomize
