she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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