I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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