I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
