what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
