Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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