Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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