i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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