you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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