Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I just threw up on my dentist
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
i now understand why vodka
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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