just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
