The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
