Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I wish you could order shots online.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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