She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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