NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
