Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
