Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize