Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize